The Boiler Room !

No! This is’nt about another steaming room to sweat it out like the way the title of this blog might make it sound, but a flick released sometime in 2000 which I happen to watch a couple of months ago during a rainy weekend night in Bangalore with a few friends.

A must see for all people in the profession of sales. Here are some of the dialogues of the movie I found out:

Man on phone: Take me off your list.
Seth Davis: Fine, fine. I'm gonna take you off my list of successful people today.

Jim Young: And there is no such thing as a no sale call. A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason he can't. Either way a sale is made, the only question is who is gonna close? You or him? Now be relentless, that's it, I'm done.

Jim Young: They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the fucking smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.

Jim Young: Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't fucking have any.

Greg Weinstein: Don't pitch the bitch.

Seth Davis: I read this article a while back, that said that Microsoft employs more millionaire secretary's that any other company in the world. They took stock options over Christmas bonuses. It was a good move. I remember there was this picture, of one of the groundskeepers next to his Ferrari. Blew my mind. You see shit like that, and it just plants seeds, makes you think its possible, even easy. And then you turn on the TV, and there's just more of it. The $87 Million lottery winner, that kid actor that just made 20 million o his last movie, that internet stock that shot through the roof, you could have made millions if you had just gotten in early, and that's exactly what I wanted to do: get in. I didn't want to be an innovator any more, i just wanted to make the quick and easy buck, i just wanted in. The Notorious BIG said it best: "Either you're slingin' crack-rock, or you've got a wicked jump-shot." Nobody wants to work for it anymore. There's no honor in taking that after school job at Mickey Dee's, honor's in the dollar, kid. So I went the white boy way of slinging crack-rock: I became a stockbroker.

Broker: I know you're not standing on your front porch with a bag of money waiting for me to call you. But I'm not some 18-year-old selling a cure for AIDS. I'm 46 years old, I have 22 years market experience, I know this business. So pick up your skirt, grab your balls, and lets go make some money

Jim Young: There's an important phrase that we use here, and think it's time that you all learned it. Act as if. You understand what that means? Act as if you are the fucking President of this firm. Act as if you got a 9" cock. Okay? Act as if.

Seth Davis: Its strange to think how that knock changed everything, everything, hey don't get me wrong here, I don't believe in fate, i believe in odds.

Greg Weinstein: Don't you have a canoli you can stick in your mouth?
Chris Varick: Don't you have a menorah you could shove up your ass?

Jim Young: You Want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari, 355 Cabriolet, What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all kids, I am liquid.

Richie: Get the fuck out of here before I put you in a mayonnaise jar. When was the last time you closed something huh? You couldn't close a fuckin' window you moron!

Greg Weinstein: I hope this is better than the last batch of shit you gave me. Produced more wood than Ron Jeremy. I don't want you to yell, "Reco!" anymore. Know what you should yell? "Timber!" Yeah, Mr. Fuckin' wood. I hear you fuckin' makin' your calls. It's bullshit, all right? I mean if you want them off the phone so bad, why don't you just hang up? You should get them excited. You know, excited? They should beg for a broker on the first call !!

Hmmmm……let’s get out there and close some deals !

Closing !! *Hmpf….trying to ;)

The Rendezvous !

Sunday - 1:30 p.m.

The room felt like a furnace with the sunrays entering from the window making the summer heat feeling sultry & oppressive on a Sunday afternoon. Like usual, woke up late (I guess that’s what most Sunday’s are meant for) and while flipping through the ‘Mind Over Matter’ columns in the TOI, my cell phone’s ‘Just Jazzy’ ring tone started ringing aloud. A glimpse at the display screen showed up an uncanny 12/13-digit number, which was tough for me to recognize. Eventually left with no choice I answered the call and this is how “The Call” went:
(Some sections of the conversation have narrations & Hindi dialogues because certain statements can’t have the same flavor (read: humor) when expressed in Hindi only)

Lady: Hellooooo! (Excited)

Me: Hello? (Curious)

Lady: Girishhhhhhh! Kaise ho?

Me: Ummm…I’m fine, thanks……Sorry…… lekin maine aap ko pehchaana nahi?

Lady: Pehchaan kaunnnnnn??? (For a moment I thought one of the winners of the Great Indian Laughter Show had called up)

Me: I’m sorry but guesses have more or less landed me in trouble for calling out the wrong names (for the wrong reasons too sometimes!)

Lady: Beta (*son) it’s me…your mami (*mum’s brother’s wife)…from Abu Dhabi. You forgot me so soon?

Me: (Areh baap re!) Errrr…ohhhh…. Kaise ho mami? It’s been quite sometime since we spoke. Hope everything is fine at your end?

(So now that I’ve identified who the caller is I shall change the caller’s ID to ‘Aunt’)

Aunt: Everything is fine here beta, you tell me how are things at your end in Bangalore? When do you plan to come to Abu Dhabi?

Me: Everything is fine here Mami, work keeps me busy throughout the week & I really can’t say when I can come down next. Kaam se chutti milna is very difficult!

Aunt: No wonder you haven’t stayed in touch with us….mere Guddu ko toh hamare liye time hi nahi hai?

*Now Guddu used to be my nick when I was 3 years of age but my aunt never seemed to give up this habit of addressing me even now (sigh). Old habits die hard….did someone say? Getting miffed by the whole ‘Guddu’ affair i decided to snub it off the very instant and change the matter.

Me: So when are you planning to come down to India…errrr…..Bangalore? (*Geez – now what?)

Aunt: Agar tum Shaadi kar rahe ho toh phir hum aayenge? (How Sindhi!)

Me: Shaadi !! (*GULP) aur itni jaldi?….ha ha…your kidding me mami ! Abhi toh mein bachha hoon…khelne kudne ke din hain mere!

Little did I know that my comments we’re going to backfire and by now I realised how stimulating the call was…I even skipped my chai…read on to know how I dug my own pit! Dang!

Aunt: yeah yeah…I know you must be loitering around clubs & pubs with all your sweethearts in skimpily clad clothes! (Do I need to give any explanations for this?) It’s high time beta you get serious about settling down, now that your 24 & have a job! (Is that all these days?) Waise…have you ever given this a thought?

Me: (Fed up of being nagged) Not really mami, I think it’s a little too early for me now…yawwwnnn….(hope your not yawning with this piece…it’s contagious)

Aunt: Everything seems to be early for today’s generation. Waise…just to let you know…I have a very close friend whose daughter I think would be ideal for you. (Yeah right! Does she go to rave parties too??!!)

* So in order not to disregard her concern for me, I decided to gratify her by asking a couple of questions so that she reckons she got me thinking about it atleast.

Me: So whose this girl and what does she do?

Aunt: (Elated) Well her name is Priyanka….Priyanka Gangwani and she recently graduated in Arts. She knows how to cook (this & that and blah blah…while in the meantime I was checking what movies we’re running in PVR). Also beta, she lately started working in a school as a geography teacher.

Me: (Still not involved) so aunty, where is she from?

Aunt: (Jubilant) She’s from Bareilly! (no offence meant :))

Me: (Taken aback) Kya? Yeh kahan hai? (Now the only thing going on my mind was the track ‘Jhumka gira re, Bareilly ke bazaar mein…’)

Aunt: (Convincing) Oh noooo…don’t you know where Bareilly is? Your geography is very poor…tch tch !(and Priyanka is a geography teacher…what a conjunction!) Bareilly is in U.P. and it’s a beautiful town. ‘Priyanka Chopra’ bhi Bareilly se hai….woh jo Miss World bani thi….pata hai?? Bluffmaster movie mein bhi hai….yaad aaya??

Me: (Fussy) Lekin woh Priyanka ‘Chopra’ toh nahi hai naa??

*I felt my aunt was the Bluffmaster in this whole gimmick. But think about it…what if the girl was Priyanka Chopra? Yeah, yeah I know u guys don’t have high hopes…read on…

Aunt: Priyanka Chopra kaise hogi? Sapne dekhna bandh karo aur meri baat suno….(*Sapne..yeah right!??)

Me: (Interrupting) Pehle aap mujhe yeh bataiye…..ke aap meri shaadi ke peeche kyon padi hain? I am in no hurry so I want you to tell me frankly why all this? (*I’m pretty sure she was running some home-marriage-bureau)

Aunt: (Low) Actually there hasn’t been a wedding in the family for almost 10 years now and since you’re the first in line I thought i should be considerate enough to help you with the right partner. (*For a moment I was touched because a lot of NRI’s do miss out on a lot of family functions and they usually look forward to such events. But the actual reason came right after this.)
And it’s been so long since I bought new jewellery, wedding clothes, ate pani-puri and danced to the best bollywood numbers (read: Jhatkas, matkas, thumkas).Now I really wish you decide to tie the knot soon so that I get to fulfil all what I mentioned…sighhhh! (*I’m pretty sure she was imagining all of this on the phone which was followed by a moment of silence)

Suddenly or rather fortunately, it just struck me to remind my Sindhi-aunt of the phone bill she was running while she was discussing her vague plans for my so called wedding with Ms Priyanka-geography teacher-Gangwani.

Me: (Charged up) Aunty, I think you’ve been on this international call for quiet sometime, you must be running a huge bill already? ---

Thinking that my Sindhi-aunt would realise the fortune she spent on an international call trying her conviction skills, which resulted in little or rather no hope, she would eventually decide to hang up or for all you know, give up and let me continue the rest of the day which lie ahead. I was quiet, smirking on the phone when she responded back confidently with a rebuttal, which evoked mixed reactions in my mind and I was left flabbergasted! Read on to find out what the reply was:

Aunt: (Con-fi-dent) I’m your aunt my dear child, I possibly know every step that you take. Smart move Guddu, however, I’m using SKYPE and I don’t run into bills and it’s absolutely free of cost. All I pay is for internet charges. You might want to keep yourself up to date with technology. And just to let you know, I’m also going to have a word with your mom today in the evening and share Priyanka’s snaps with her. Have a good day son, take care and eat well.

Me: (Dumbstruck & trying to utter) errr……ummmm…alright, take care, good bye!

*That’s not the end of the Rendezvous!

I’m fortunate to have a very understanding mum, who stood by me as far as my decisions were concerned. I spoke with her a couple of days ago and she bought this is up. Apparently, she told me that my aunt did pay a visit home to meet her and share Priyanka’s snaps with her over evening tea. This is what my mum had to say:

Mum: “Girish, I’ve explained to your aunt about your priorities and why it was too early for you to get married. I pretty much agree with you. Oh by the way, I did get a chance to take a look at some of Priyanka’s pictures and I think she looks very very pretty……especially in pink”

DANG !!!

Signing off,

Girish.

Waffles for thought !

Been trying hard not to think about it but somehow it's even started disturbing me during my sleep recently creating an urge to have it all the more. To actually look at it on the brighter side, I seem to be looking forward towards having them for breakfast every weekend (wish I could have it everyday in bed...sigh!). The kitchen's truly not my department although I've tried my hands at it a couple of times but somehow the end result doesn't look appealing one bit and hence I've always ended up ordering food from the Chinese guy down the road. So folks, just to get your attention back on track I'm talking bout the 'Belgian Waffles' for breakfast and trust me on this, it can sometimes get worse than a nightmare when hunger strikes during hibernation hours !

Served with fruits, whipped cream, icecream, peanut butter, honey, maple syrup, butter, jam and many other ingredients would be a temptation worth indulging in for. Let me just tell you how it all started when a close friend of mine decided to take me out to breakfast (like all the time I couldn't resist to say no for free breakfast) and so we hit this place situated in Koregaon Park, Pune called Gourmet on North main road & right besides German Bakery. The reason for choosing this place was first of all both of us decided to zero in on something different (read:continental) and not the usual idli-dosa combo which we we're already fed up of having at Madhuban after college hours every single day...phew !

Sitting right besides our table was this middle-age-firang-lady in an Osho gown who was being served waffles while the two of us we're still deciding on the 2 page menu the-have's & have-not's ! Seeing the lady savour the delicacy of the batter cake with toppings of honey & melted butter we couldn't resist our curiosity and after a quick-quiet exchange of looks we decided to try the so-called-pancake.

Somehow this time the order was really late or I just felt that it was some sort of a patience test as 10 minutes to the order seemed like hours & i'm guessing this always happens when your eagerly awaiting something !! After the much awaited wait we had on our table 2 plates of square-shaped-grid like appearance which we "drenched" it in melted butter and honey/maple syrup only to indulge ourselves in the so called "Belgian Waffles" all for just 45 bucks ! And while I'm posting this piece of blog I feel like hitting the nearest 24/7 place which can serve waffles because I know I'm going to be in-&-out of sleep :)

I do miss having waffles with Taroon and Navtej who have always obliged to accompany even at the mere mention of this traditional breakfast dish. Often on weekends it became a must- have and I still remember feeling nostalgic when Navtej used to fret & fume when I used to dish out the word 'Waffles' in front on him and we just couldn't resist and ride ourselves all the way till Koregaon Park.

It's been long since I made my presence felt at Gourmet but I do look forward to it in the next trip I'm going to be making very soon to Pune. In the meantime i do know as a matter of fact that the Taj Residency in Bangalore, off M.G. road does serve waffles...but is there any other place I could explore in this city for the same and not go through sleepless nights dreaming about breakfast & waffles !!??!!

I'm really starving now...anyone for breakfast??

Signing off

Girish !!!